Oh hi there. I'm updating, for once. For real. The updates are these:
I currently hold three jobs: full-time as a prep associate at Panera Bread in CP, part-time as garden bar attendent/hostess at Ruby Tuesday next door, and as an unpaid writer at TheFreeGeorge.com. That pretty much takes up all of my time.
But I still have time to crash my car into a telephone pole, have panic attacks about old relationships and needy friends, and occasionally see my lovely boyfriend of 4 months (on Feb 7), Jarad. I nicknamed him Jaradactyl--so I might just call him 'dactyl when I refer to him.
I've been having trouble lately moving on from the past. I feel like I've regressed, because at one point I was really okay with moving on. Unfortunately, I think I was a borderline alcoholic at that point. Anyway. I want to find that clarity again.
Plus I miss being at college. The only freedom I get from my family is when I'm at work...which is why I work so much. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. But getting out of the house keeps me sane. It keeps me from remembering how lost I really am. I thought by now I'd be married with a kid on the way. Yeah, I did.
Now I just want to get through each day. I want to hide from all my past friends. I want to go back in time and stay in touch with them. I want to not regret. I want to not want to go back and change all the decisions I made, because they've gotten me to a very bad place.
And right now, I am once again procrastinating on that one unpaid job I have that actually goes with my degree. Sigh.
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